my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dear god my vagina.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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