I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
