just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
