The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
