the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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