Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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