I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
