great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my sisters under your porch take her home
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
