I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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