Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
