She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
