Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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