it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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