Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
