For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
