He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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