Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
