The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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