Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
