i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
