she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize