why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
