ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
