you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So apparently I’m into choking now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
