Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
