I hope mine doesn't look like that
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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