Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
ttyl tear gas
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
