Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
