She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
