She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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