cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
