His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
