If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize