He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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