I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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