why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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