So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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