If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
love makes seman taste better
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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