just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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