you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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