i don't like sucking hair
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
