Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
