if only i could text you this smell
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
