How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
