evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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