How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
home. puking in laundry basket.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
