YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
