Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
