So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
