I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
