Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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