Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
