Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
