Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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