i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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