he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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