Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
