My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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