I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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