Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
