she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
