is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
