$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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