i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
now i know why i became what i already was.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
