i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize