They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
