ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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