so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
