She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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