my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
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It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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