we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
