i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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