There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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