You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
